When I started writing this blog post last week, I knew it would be a big job to explain ADHD to readers who only know what society has told us. Thankfully, Guy Williams and his sister Maria Williams saved me the effort with their documentary “ADHD: Not Just Hyper.”

In just one hour, they managed to touch on most of the many facets of ADHD, giving people in Aotearoa New Zealand an overview of what ADHD looks like—especially Inattentive Type.

Watch it here: ADHD: Not Just Hyper

ADHD Presents Differently in Men and Women

Watching the documentary, I was struck by how ADHD manifests differently in men and women. Boys and men are often diagnosed earlier because their symptoms tend to align with the “classic” hyperactive or disruptive behaviours society associates with ADHD.

In contrast, women and girls often go undiagnosed until their late 20s, 30s, or even 40s. The documentary explains that hormonal changes, particularly the drop in oestrogen around age 35, can make it harder for women to compensate or mask their ADHD symptoms.

This hit close to home for me. Society expects women to take on the invisible load—and be excellent at it. When I struggled with executive functioning, I internalised it as a personal failing. Why did I think I could succeed in business if I couldn’t even clean my car?

The Power of Seeing the ADHD Brain

I was thrilled to see brain scans of ADHD brains in the documentary. I’ve gone down countless rabbit holes of scientific studies about ADHD, and seeing visual proof on screen was so satisfying. It confirmed what I already knew: ADHD is highly heritable.

One moment in the documentary made me bark with laughter. Guy and Maria were listening to the explanation of their brain scans when the sound suddenly faded, and you could see them zoning out. It was such a relatable portrayal of the ADHD experience, they absolutely nailed it!

Another aha moment came when Guy moved his leg during the MRI, causing parts of his prefrontal cortex to light up. Let that sink in: ADHD brains need movement to process information. In schools, kids are told to “sit still and listen,” yet for ADHD brains, that’s nearly impossible. Cue mind-blown music.

My ADHD Diagnosis

I was diagnosed with ADHD, Inattentive Type (moderate severity), in July this year at the age of 38. That diagnosis has been life-changing.

Suddenly, everything made sense—from not finishing college to struggling to pass qualifications, from dopamine-seeking behaviours in my 20s to drowning under the societal pressures of motherhood.

But it wasn’t all bad. I’d always excelled at learning creative skills like design, photography, and web development – as long as I wanted to learn them. But when it came to studying something like anatomy for my mind and body course? Forget it. No dopamine = no motivation.

For years, I was stuck in a cycle. Every New Year’s, my journal goals were the same: declutter the house, get better with money. By year’s end, nothing had changed. My messy house was a constant source of shame, and I dreaded unexpected visitors, I had no chance to mask that I wasn’t a normal executive-functioning human.

Living with an ADHD Brain

ADHD diagnosis = new rulebook.

Now, when I lose things around the house, I laugh. Is it frustrating? Absoltely. I currently don’t have any sunglasses because my house has somehow swallowed two pairs. But I’ve learned to stop seeing it as a character flaw.

I’ve put systems in place to avoid these situations, but I know things will still slip through the cracks. That’s just how my brain works and that’s okay.

Medication has also helped reduce the constant chatter in my head. It hasn’t magically made me neurotypical, but it’s made action possible, within the parameters of my ADHD brain.

For example, I’ve discovered that different brain tasks require different types of music to keep me on track:

Low-Brain Tasks:

Dishes < Dopamine Song on Repeat
Washing < Dopamine Song on Repeat
Cleaning < Dopamine Song on Repeat

Medium-Brain Tasks:

Graphic Design < ADHD Hyperfocus Binaural Beats
Web Design < ADHD Hyperfocus Binaural Beats
Photo Editing < ADHD Hyperfocus Binaural Beats
Writing < I can do this while chilling with my kids

High-Brain Tasks:

Navigating a dangerous intersection < Silence only

Smashing Goals

In the five months since my diagnosis, my productivity has skyrocketed. Personal projects that once felt impossible to start or complete are now being finalised and left in the dust.

Of course, I’m impatient. After 38 years of feeling stuck, I want to achieve everything yesterday. But with my new time-sense super power I know that I can only tackle one project at a time.

I want to be a successful entrepreneur, blogger, YouTuber, and financially independent creative. Imagine trying to cram 38 years of unachieved dreams into five months. I’ve given myself burnout on a few occasions. 

Do I Wish I’d Been Diagnosed Earlier?

Honestly, I don’t think I could’ve been diagnosed earlier. Inattentive ADHD wasn’t formally recognised until 1994—I was already eight years old. Research into ADHD in women didn’t gain traction until 2005-2010, long after I’d finished school.

For me, it was the TikTok algorithm that finally helped me figure it out. Social media has been a lifeline for my generation, helping us find answers and understand why we’ve struggled for so long.

I Love My ADHD

Now, I want to contribute to raising awareness of Inattentive ADHD through my mahi. I want to help others find the same joy in their diagnosis that I have.

I love my brain that needs “glasses.” It’s messy, chaotic, and requires extra support, but it’s also creative, resilient, and capable of incredible things.

Meri Kirihimete e ngā hoa Aroreretini—wishing you a joyful holiday season. And remember, your brain is beautiful.